


Despite Everything

by dunbar



Series: Thiam Week 2017????? [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-03
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2019-01-08 09:23:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12251529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dunbar/pseuds/dunbar
Summary: Feeling empathy for Gabe broke an emotional barrier down inside Theo and he's easily overwhelmed by all the emotions. Some days are worse than others, but Liam's always there.





	Despite Everything

**Author's Note:**

> anyways i can't stop pouring softness into this relationship bc soft thiam gives me life so i'm sorry in advance x_x

“You’re more than that, you know,” Liam said softly, breaking the tension in the air that had been lingering since Theo woke up panicking the morning and yelled at Liam not to follow him as he left the house to get some air. He hadn’t said a word since he got back home, and Liam didn’t want to force him to talk, so he hadn’t either.

Theo was sitting on the floor against the wall, tossing one of Liam’s old lacrosse balls up and catching it, without ever looking away from it. Liam sighed and pushed his math books aside. He’d seen some of Theo’s bad days, they barely talked at all on them, but Liam knew Theo wouldn’t just stop having so many of these days just on his own.

“This morning you asked me why I let you stay here when you’re not useful anymore. You don’t have to be useful all the time.”

Theo caught the ball one last time and looked up to see Liam staring at him gently, some mix of love and concern that made Theo want to laugh or cry or get angry—he wasn’t exactly sure. After seeing Gabe in the hospital, some wall inside him broke and for the first time in his life he couldn’t numb down his emotions anymore. There was no supernatural distraction around and his survival didn’t depend on it, but it hurt to feel so openly. It hurt every time Liam looked at him like he mattered, and it hurt every time he thought of the people whose lives he ruined.

“Don’t.” Theo said as forcefully as he could, trying to convince Liam or himself that he meant it despite the small small shake in his voice that made it sound like it was on the verge of cracking. “Don’t look at me like that, I don’t need your pity.”

“I’m not pitying you, I’m trying to help you.” Liam stood up and sat down against the wall next to Theo despite the glare he got as he walked over.

“Who said I need any help?” Theo’s words had heat behind them, he was good at that. He understood the way Liam changed every emotion into anger, because he did the same himself; he held that same anger and hate inside him. But where Liam was explosive, Theo’s was a pointed weapon he could turn on anyone when he needed it.

“You don’t have to need help to get it. I want to help.”

Theo could feel the other boy’s gaze on him, soft, always too soft.

“I care about you, whether you’re ‘useful’ or not,” Liam added finger quotes for emphasis and slumped back down.

The silence filled the air again, tense but somehow still calm and comforting.

“I’m not trying to push you, and you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want. But I’m not letting you push me away entirely either, because I know what you’re doing, I know what it’s like. So… I’m here.” Liam leaned himself against Theo, warm and far too gentle, unbelievably kind.

“Do you regret it?” Theo knew the question had come out of his mouth, but he hadn’t meant to say it and the quiet voice hardly sounded like his own.

“What?” 

“Bringing me back.”

Liam finally looked away again, staring up at the ceiling. He looked thoughtful, so much so that Theo almost wanted to say never mind and drop the topic.

“You still think I do?” Liam asked softly.

Theo just shrugged. “Is that a no?”

“I haven’t regretted it for a minute, not since I saw you.” 

“That’s stupid,” Theo replied coldly.

“It’s not!” Liam half shouted, sitting up to face Theo properly again. “Scott’s gone off to college and I’m here and the one decision I’ve ever been completely sure of, with or without him here, was you. I don’t care if everyone else thinks I’m stupid, I don’t care if you do. I forgive you for who you were. You’re not changing my mind.” Liam sounded angry, or frustrated, but it didn’t feel directed at Theo.

“Why would you do that to yourself?” Theo whispered, sounding awfully broken. “I killed my fucking sister, I—I killed Scott.”

“I’m not doing anything to myself. I’ve trusted you for so long and I see you, who you really are. You’ve changed and you’re trying to be better and it does matter. I know what it’s like to be made into a fucked up kid by abuse and people you thought you could trust. It was never your fault and that doesn’t mean it just gets let off the hook like it never happened but you’ve done so much to be better and I’m sick of everyone treating you like that. If I have to listen to one more person tell me to be careful around you I’m going to kill them.” 

Liam’s frustration died with his words and he fell back against the wall, running his hand through his hair and refusing to meet Theo’s eyes. Of course he knew, of course he would be the only one to understand. His abuse gave him an uncontrollable anger, and for years all he had was Mason and then his pack. But all Theo ever had as a “support system” was more abuse, more trauma, more reason to be angry. Hating him for it when he was trying to make up for it would have been cruel.

Theo stared for a while, speechless and open and vulnerable. It was scary, terrifying even, to learn to trust and care and love all over again. But Liam made it easier, made him feel like it wasn’t just a weakness to feel.

“All my life I was used. The doctors did it for years, and then…” His voice broke and he stopped himself from crying then and there. Theo didn’t want to blame Liam’s pack, he tried not to resent them for it, but it was hard not to hate himself when the world’s very own true alpha thought Theo evil enough to be trapped in eternal damnation, an endless loop of traumatic nightmares.

“Us.”

“Not you,” Theo gave a small shake of his head. “Never you. You looked at me like I meant something. You had as much reason to hate me as anyone but I saw the way you looked at me, the way you gave me sympathy when no one else did.”

“I just saw you as human. That’s not praiseworthy, not when I said everything I did.”

“You were right.”

“No, I was wrong. You were a kid. At one point I might’ve thought you deserved to die but _that_? It was the cruelest thing we could’ve done, the cruelest thing the pack’s ever done. I should’ve done something sooner. I’m sorry.” Liam let out an exasperated breath with the last words, like he’d wanted to get them off his chest for far too long.

“I’m trying not to call you a dumbass for apologizing to me over something as small as that after everything, but you’re making this really hard.” 

Theo let out a small, shaky laugh when Liam punched him in the arm. 

“I meant all of it,” Liam said softly.

“I know, that’s why you’re stupi—ow!” Liam smiled a little when Theo shot him a lighthearted glare for nudging him in the ribs, but his expression quickly faded back to concern.

“Stop deflecting.”

“It’s one of my many talents,” Theo pointed out, and he wasn’t wrong, but his attempts to change the mood and topic of the conversation weren’t working on Liam, which was to be expected. Theo knew how stubborn he could be from experience.

“I know, so stop it. Quit pretending to be strong all the time, I trust you and I don’t know if you trust me and I’m not trying to force you to talk or anything but you don’t have to pretend around me anymore.” Liam mentally scolded himself for rambling, he had that habit and always ended up saying more than he’d initially planned.

He was tempted to let the conversation drop, but Theo grabbed his wrist lightly before he could get up and move.

“I trust you.” Theo stared at Liam’s eyes, marvelling in the stark contrast between their icy blue colour against the warmth and affection they gave off. Liam always looked at him like that, like he knew his gaze was was slowly thawing away the cold, cold walls that Theo had hidden his feelings behind, and he wanted to do it right, gently. He could get lost staring at Liam, like he often did from the corner of rooms when the beta argued with Scott, or played video games with Mason or Corey. But there was always a time and a place. 

“I know you want me to be better and I’m trying, because of you. But I don’t… I have no idea what the hell I’m doing.” Theo sighed, a final admission of defeat. One minute he understood why he’d closed off his emotions in the past, completely boxed them up, but then Liam would look at him again or smile and he realized how much he needed this—needed him. He looked back at Liam, pleadingly, desperately hoping for him to understand what he was trying to say without the explicit words having to come right out. He wasn’t sure if he could manage to say them.

“We’ll figure it out.” Liam put his other hand over top of Theo’s that was still barely around his wrist, not even enough to truly be holding him there anymore. “I’m sort of always on an emotional rollercoaster, this could work.” He smiled softly.

“I want it to,” Theo whispered back, almost breathlessly. He was enamoured, hopelessly clinging onto Liam’s every word, every movement, every breath.

“Me too.” Liam moved his hand off Theo, who instinctively let go as he watched Liam hesitantly move towards him.

Theo wasn’t sure what he expected, but it definitely wasn’t Liam planting a gentle kiss on his forehead before standing back up like it wasn’t a big deal when it was the gentlest touch Theo had received in his life. Every other touch burned in some way, burned with physical pain or, worse, a burning emotional ache because he knew he didn’t deserve kindness, but when Liam’s lips pressed against his forehead, even for just a moment, they'd filled him with a warmth that didn’t hurt for once. It was everything; Liam was everything to him now.

Theo stared back, mouth parted and eyes wide and filled with nothing but love and an undeniable vulnerability that wasn't as scary as it should have been. Liam just smiled knowingly, but just as affectionately, as Theo stood up to face him.

Theo wanted to kiss him, he wanted to go even further, but Liam stopped him with one hand as he leaned in, and he tried to quickly cover up the disappointment on his face.

“Sorry, I thought…” Theo stepped back quickly, before Liam grabbed his arm and pulled him over to sit on the bed.

“It’s not that I don’t want to, but I know what you’re doing. And before we do anything, I need you to really get that I’m not using you. I’ll never use you.”

Theo responded with a shallow nod. Liam was right, he had never been in a proper relationship and rushing it would probably cause issues later on, especially with how chaotic both of their personalities tended to be.

“Like I said, my own emotional instability is gonna come in handy.” Liam grinned brightly, and Theo got lost in it once again, entirely captivated by Liam in every sense of the word. Someone as messed up as him didn’t deserve someone as bright as Liam, he knew that.

Liam must have sensed some kind of emotional shift, because he pulled Theo closer and shuffled over until he was comfortably wrapped around him in a tight embrace. 

Theo hesitated before burying his head against the crook of his neck, pushed hard against Liam, desperate to take in as much undeserved warmth as he could before he inevitably woke up from what must be a dream.

“I forgive you,” Liam muttered quietly, barely loud enough to hear over the soft drum of their heartbeats in the otherwise silent room. “It’s time you try and forgive yourself too.”

**Author's Note:**

> ... i told myself i wasn't gonna participate in thiam week bc i'm so busy and emotionally wrecked from the finale still but here i am... they had to have this conversation eventually anyway and idk how much of this classifies under hurt/comfort but I HOPE ITS OK! i'm probably not gonna do all (or even most) of the prompts / days but i'll try to do some when i can i guess! c: i love y'all


End file.
